Allow Me to Reintroduce Yourself

AJ's Book Corner(ABC's)

Title: Stop Self-Sabotage. Six steps to unlock your true motivation, harness your willpower, and get out of your own way.

Author(s): Dr. Judy Ho, PHD

Link: I'm Reading...

What I’m listening to...

Name of Album: Good News

Artist: Megan the Stallion

Favorite Song: Girls in the Hood

Link: I'm Listening to...

What I’m Watching

Name of Show: The Crown

Brief Overview: Queen Elizabeth’s rise and experience with life and holding the throne. The queen is a GOAT. I do not know what it’s like to imagine having to become the queen of England at twenty some years old and navigate it after being thrown into it like she has. I also like the way the story is structured and written.

Why I decided to restart my blog/podcast?

I was battling the voices in my head that said my blog/podcast was trash, I don’t have the time to blog/podcast and I don’t want to do the podcast alone. These were all ALL EXCUSES! On the other hand, I felt I could restart my blog/podcast, I do have time and I just have to choose to make the blog/podcast a priority and I can do my podcast alone. So here it is(INSERT LINK for Podcast)

What is this blog about?

This blog is about my life a bit, about how I navigate my life being an adult orphan, and how I cope with the loss of my parents.

1. One of the PROS of living w/o parents is: It taught me to be independent, and not depend on other people as a survival defense so you don’t get disappointed.

2. One of the CONS of living w/o parents is: You have the stress of being independent. And you become so stuck in survival mode that you close your mind off to other opportunities around you.

About Me

I lost my mom when I was almost 6 years old, and I lost my father when I was in my mid 20’s. To me your parents are your foundation, and they give you this false sense of reality that they’re always going to be there. My parent’s loss created a increase in distrust in life, giving me this weight of accountability that I can’t depend on other’s, I can’t trust others, and that I had to figure everything out on my own. Over the years of dealing with my mom’s loss I believed I had developed acceptance of it and was doing alright until my dad passed away unexpectedly as well. After that everything went south. That’s why it’s important to deal with any issues you mask instead of continuing to mask them. I tell friends I’m close enough with, that you deal with your stuff or it will deal with you.

My stuff started to deal with me. I withdrew from living and existed for a couple of years after that. In between wanting to live my life to make my parents proud, mingled with grief, depression, low self-esteem and other issues. I didn’t want to live at a certain point. Therapy became my last resort. Being that I am a black woman, I wanted to have a female, black therapist and there were only two in my area. Through Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today I was able to find my therapist and began to heal, learn and grow.

I’m still healing, learning and growing, and that’s with all that grief includes, the depression, negative self-talk, stresses, and fear that come with change.

But I'm discovering that change is good. It hurts, but it’s good.

I'm grateful for tragedy, it’s shaped me into who I am the good and the bad.

Be passionately curious.

-Albert Einstein