Constructive Survival Habits for People who have Lost a Parent(s)

AJ's Book Corner(ABC's)

Title: Children of Blood and Bone

Author(s): Tomi Adeyemi

Link: I'm Reading...

What I’m listening to...

Name of Album: - Ugh, those feels again

Artist: Snoh Aalegra

Favorite Song: Find Someone Like You

Link: I'm Listening to...

What I’m Watching

Name of Show: The Chi the 3rd Season

Brief Overview: SPOILER ALERT Kevin, his best friends Papa and Jake are having to navigate the south side of Chicago with the death of Brandon, and many more losses. I see the way it effects the life of Kevin, how’s he very smart but so lost and grieving the loss of a Brandon, the person who became a brother to him but was killed. The season starts off with the wedding of Kevin’s mom and stepmom, Brandon’s funeral, and ends with Kevin’s sister Keisha going missing from the bus stop.

Overall, I’m enjoying the story and the grittiness.

Let’s talk about the constructive survival habits I adopted into my life to exist when my parents died that have helped me to cope with life.

1. Withdrawing inside my head allowed me to become both an avid reader and a writer wanting to seek solutions to my questions.

2. Holding onto my inner child.

I have moments where I realize that the six-year-old I was when my mom died is very much a part of who I am today, and that my inner child was very deprived of the typical childlike reality because I had to grow up quickly. I’m able to embrace my inner child and use my imagination which helps me to write as well. I also find myself doing things such as coloring and putting together Lego sets and sometimes doodling.

3. Being a good/better listener to ppl who have suffered loss. Surprisingly, the death of my parents is an experience and invitation to a club no one wants to be in. But now I see that as a means of connection and deeper understanding. By connecting with a person who has lost a parent or someone who means a lot to them I am able to confess that I have lost. Usually depending on the situation I just listen to the other person. For people who can’t understand or experienced a loss of a parent it can be difficult listening to people who are so hurt but I view it as part of my purpose trying to utilize my own painful experiences to give someone else comfort in knowing that they’re not alone. Revisiting my own loss is oddly healing because I can look back and see how far I’ve come.

I’m grateful for having a roof over my head. When I’m in my depression and working through stuff I can become ungrateful, seeing on only the bad, but there are a lot to be grateful for.

Quote: Don’t Forget you can:

-start late

-start over

-be unsure

-act different

-try and fail

And still succeed